Not only did I abandon this blog after my second rejection from RADA, I also abandoned any dream and ambition I had towards a career in acting. With full force, I focused on working full time in a bar; with no plan for the future whatsoever. For a while, this was perfect. It didn't bother me in the slightest. I feel I'm a completely different person to the fresh out of sixth form auditionee that radiated enthusiasm. I got a nose piercing, dyed my hair pink, fucked up (a lot), made new friends, lost old friends and I'm still struggling to find my happy place. 

Work has become tiring. Several people my age at work are making plans for the future; joining the police, applying for university, producing music - doing what they love. I obviously can't work in a bar all my life and I feel like I'm being left behind. 

The thing is that I still don't have any passion. I'm not reading scripts, or watching films, or seeing plays, I don't go to my theatre and I don't talk to anyone about acting. I'm so lost. Where do I even look for an agent? Do I apply again this year? What's the point?

I want my passion back.

I'm actually unsure if a third round is in the cards this year. Usually you come out of an audition and know if you've done well or not. But I honestly have no clue whatsoever. This morning has been a complete blur.

I arrived at the Gower street building five minutes after my scheduled auditioned time because I was stupid enough to get on the wrong train. I was beyond nervous - perhaps because of my rejection last year or maybe because it was my first audition this year. Sally took us round to Chenies street as usual and I went straight upstairs for my audition.

There were four people on the panel including Nona, the Head of Acting, who fortunately recognised me from last year. I shook their hands and sat down infront of them. They asked which speeches 

I had (Phoebe - As You Like It, Queen Margaret - King Henry VI Part 3, and Laura - Chatroom) and what song I would be singing (Let Me Sign - Robert Pattinson). They asked me do to my speeches first, whereas last year I had the option of choosing to get singing done and out of the way.

I started with Phoebe and despite a strong start, I fluffed my line halfway through. I'm going to put it down to nerves and a lack of confidence in the speech, but it was seriously gutting. I recovered quickly however and smoothed it over. At this point the exact words going through my head are "oh shit".

I then performed my modern which went very well despite a few panic moments as I searched frantically for the line. But it did go well. They requested my second Shakespeare speech once I'd finished, and because I did Queen Margaret for my final round last year, it went flawlessly. So let's hope I redeemed myself in their eyes.

Instead of doing my song at this point, I was asked to sit down for the interview. They wanted to know what I've been doing the past six months and what I'm doing at the moment. The were quite impressed that this blog has near 30,000 hits (thanks guys!) but did slip in that they hoped I wasn't telling you all what questions they were asking. So I'm afraid, I'll have to be careful what I say. However, each interview is unique, so even if I did list out questions, they'll probably differ anyway. Plus, I did really bullshit my way through the interview.

And then the singing. The acoustics, like last year, were very complementary, and to be honest, I felt like it went better than my speeches. And that's it! I found out 11 days later after my recall last year, so hopefully it won't be too long. But as I say, I'm most definitely not assuming that I'll get to the third round just because of my success last year. Love to you all x

Can I first just say that the incredible feedback and support I received after my last post was nothing short of overwhelming. Thank you to each and every one of you who took the time to email, comment on the post or message me directly. For me, it was a dark time devoid of support and motivation and although I still sometimes have down days - it is amazing just to know that so many of you are there for me.

I'm a lot happier than I was from September - early December. I think that it's mostly down to the Christmas holidays and having family at home all day. But of course, the holidays are over and it's time to get sorted before I slip under again.

2014 so far has been incredibly good to me. From half an hour past midnight onwards has made me incredibly happy and positive - of course, down to the new man in my life (cringe fest sorry). My friendship with my best friend is as strong as ever along with my family life and I don't want a thing to change. The only thing I need to get on track is a job.

I have applied for RADA. My date was originally on the 14th January (this Tuesday!) but I've had it moved to two weeks from now on the 27th. I am choosing between Phoebe and Rosalind from As You Like It for my Shakespearean text and am currently looking for a back up which will be needed in the recall and final round (if I reach it). I also have Viola's 'I left no ring' already memorised if all else fails. However, though I have a modern text on hold, I'm not entirely happy with it. And so I'm asking you, readership. I need a modern monologue.

-Woman

-Below the age of 25

-Any genre

-Must be from a published play

-Nothing before 1950

-As a side note also - does anyone know if it's acceptable at auditions to do a male monologue? I'm not too sure...

I'm sorry I've waited so long to post, but seriously thank you for everything.

A combination of leaving sixth form, leaving my theatre, losing my friendship group and unemployment has put me in a really dark place. I have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning and I rarely leave the house or talk to anyone. As much as I love auditioning, I just can't bring myself to prepare and I find myself not even wanting to do it this year. I've lost all the support that I had last year from friends, teachers, and directors. I don't even know what schools I want. And as much as I love Shakespeare, I can't even touch my books.

I'm trying my best to reply to all your emails, but anything to do with any of this makes me want to crawl into bed and sleep forever.

The day has finally arrived friends - RADA have released their application form. And I must be honest, I gasped slightly when I clicked on that link and was not met with a disappointing message. I cannot wait to get started! Because I got past the preliminary last year, I go straight to the second round - so I doubt my audition date will be before the new year. Can't wait to go back.

Follow this link for a form: http://www.rada.ac.uk/rada_files/pdfs/application_acting_2014.pdf

To those of you curious to see me both act and sing, I am in the process of planning to start uploading to YouTube. This may take a few weeks or months, it's hard to tell when I'll be finished and comfortable.

I've battled with confidence issues in film for a while. The moment a camera is pointed at me I get incredibly self conscious - I even struggle with Skype. My singing is even worse - only audition panels and (begrudgingly) my best friend have heard me sing. She was helping me prepare for my auditions and I couldn't even sing to her face, I had to do it over the phone and had a panic attack doing so.

Aside from the issues, I also need to prepare myself for the feedback. Until now, my audience has been none the wiser about my ability and now I'm opening myself to being judged. And let's face it not all responses are positive. However, if I want to act, I need to get over this irrational fear of cameras and judgements so hopefully this is a step in the right direction.

I'll keep you updated. And keep your questions coming!

A question I am often asked is: how can I learn my lines quickly? While there are a number of ways you can try and speed up the learning process, it does come down to the individual - some people just find it easier. Here are some of the techniques that I have picked up that will hopefully help some of you.

Understand the words: This step is vital with Shakespeare monologues especially. Trying to remember Shakespearean language you are unfamiliar with is like trying to memorize another language. It will be much much easier if you highlight and look up anything you are unacquainted with. Likewise, with modern monologues, you have to see and understand where the character is coming from to make it easier.

Get moving: Try not to just sit down with a script in your hands. By occupying your brain with another activity, the words then sink and lock in to your memory much quicker. Sounds difficult, but all you have to do is walk, skip, pace, whatever. For my Queen Margaret monologue I was striding around with as much anger as possible and as a result learnt it within two hours. This activity also will help when it comes to auditions. They often get you to say your monologue out loud during movement - this proves that your not just reciting.

Write it out: In my GCSE French writing exam, I wrote the essay and then over the next week wrote out the same essay over and over again - so by the time it got to the real thing I knew it off by heart and walked out with an A. Just think of it as revising and concentrate on writing out the lines that you know the least.

Record yourself: By now if you still haven't learnt them, record yourself reading out the monologue and then put it in your iTunes library etc. Put your headphones in and listen to it while you're doing chores, or walking to college, or especially when you are sleeping as it then seeps into your subconscious. 

Remember that not everyone can do this easily. All you can do is your best. Practise little but often because if you try to learn them round the clock, you'll just block and nothing will go in. Follow these tips or even get a friend to help you. Best of luck!